Oh and COVID-19 is not a virus. Its an exosome.
It may well be that the paper manufacturing folk really like beer, They have engineered a price hike and shortage of toilet paper to inflate their stock values, at the same time many breweries are hard pressed to sell draught ales due to every country being in lock down and population distancing, so no more pubs for a while.
Corona beer prices have taken a huge hit, their stock prices will be at an all time low, in steps the now cash rich paper manufacturers ( read China / Japan / Korea ) and there you have it! the perfect conspiracy theory
I also have another one about our PM planning it all to gain a higher profile to become a UN leader, since she has taken most of our guns and has now invoked the emergency bill so as to further disrupt the armed populace.
And quail season 
4 April-30 june how I will miss those tiny delicious birds
I believe that it is the septic tank pump companies that have gotten together to create a virus that gives people the shits, hence why toilet paper was the first thing that people were panic buying.
Now once the log down has finished all those septic tanks are going to be full and the pump companies will be flat out pumping and making a fortune.
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Fact; Women are only making about 12-15% of ICU admissions. You havenāt heard this in the media yet but this virus is killing predominantly men.
ergo.
This is a feminist conspiracy.
Please feel free to embellish .
You fool. That canāt possibly be true. Virology courses are too hard for liberal art studies.
And it startsā¦ā¦ā¦
Sounds like a good thing, we should all sign up to be tracked 
a. can already be done.
b. IS already done - if needed.
c. THIS data would be more or less anonymous.
d. In this case I would not see an issue, with one caveat - clearly defined, implemented, tested, functional (and demonstrated) opt-out process.
e. They eat my arse first!
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I have a feeling it may not be up to you, mate. Some European countries, (I am fairly certain, but not 100%) where data and user privacy is a very hot topic and data breaches are followed with fines that actually sting the corporates are doing this. Here, where we are backwards hicks, where journalists get raided and searched (fucking mental in civilised countries) - we stand no chance.
So you see, @bentaz, you got the order of āeā backwards. We we all be eating that ass.
Just leave your phone at home or throw it out the car window. 
But then how will I check the forum!?
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Orā¦ For shits and giggles, carry 99 phones. Then tell everyone to get fucked, when they come for you and start suggesting you are not ādistancingā. Say that you just like to be reachable lmao
It does say that it wonāt be mandatory but we all know how long that would last when no one signs up.
Luckily I can live with out a phone.
Yeah like the My Health Records bullshit
They say that once upon a time, not long after a terrorist attack, shops selling prepaid/burner phones in Australia were required to take ID and record the names, date of births, addresses and ID card numbers, as well as the IMEI number on the box and other information by writing it down and storing it for collection.
They say that some of these folders containing thousands and thousands of bits of information were never collected after the government changed one year, and remain to this day dusty and covered over in an office cabinet up the back of some shops somewhere spooky face
Some conspiracy from the king of conspiracy
Heās a thinly veiled white supremacist.
Possibly the least of his problems