COVID-19 conspiracy theories

And the rut, don’t forget the rut…

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The god damned bloody bastard underground sissy hippy cabal contracted the Chinese government to make and release the virus at this specific time to cause global chaos for the sole purpose of fucking me up from getting my new Ruger PC9 in a timely fashion.
But fear not good friends, i have dispatched many minions who have ordered world leaders to lock down their countries while my team of flying monkeys have recruited our best scientists who are currently working around the clock on a cure.
It will be mine…oh yes, it will be mine.

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Ned Stark should not smoke crack!

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Well here we go,

The coronavirus traveled all over the world from Wuhan China, but it did not reach Beijing or Shanghai or other major cities in China. Can anyone explain how is that possible?

There are so many questions, after all, where it all started, in China, the Chinese stock market did not collapse, but the American and European markets did, and when those markets collapsed, the Chinese bought a lot.

All roads lead back to China

  1. They created a virus for which they already had an antidote.

  2. They purposely spread the virus for financial gain.

  3. There is a clear demonstration of efficiency to such an extent that they built hospitals in a few days. To build so many hospitals they had to be prepared with organized projects, for example, with the ordering of equipment, the hiring of labor, the water and sewerage network, the prefabricated building materials and the storage in an impressive volume. Everything happened so fast that everyone was speechless.

  4. They caused chaos in the world, beginning with Europe and the rest of the western worlds.

  5. Quickly decimating the economies of dozens of countries.

  6. Stop production and manufacturing lines in factories and primary production in dozens of countries.

  7. Causing the stock markets to crash and then they bought stocks, bonds and companies at bargain prices.

  8. They then quickly gained control of the epidemic in their country. After all, they were ready and he was never really out of control.

  9. In all this, they managed to lower the price of basic products, including the price of oil.

  10. Now they are going back to mass production while the rest of the world is stopped.

Also note how quickly Chinese unions activated to “hoard” purchases of bus cargo to regional shopping centers across Australia, stripping our shelves of toilet paper and staple foods.

It happened before most of us knew what was happening, even before we knew what the Coronavirus was.

Bunch of contradiction in there, but I like it. This is one of the best ones thus far, @1Fatman. I’m sticking to greens trying to stop duck season though.

Nah I like @bentaz theory that it is the WA government doing so we can steal your guns and impart our laws on to you lol

They have built hospitals of the same scale and type in only days at least once before. The last time I remember them even doing landworks to build the hospitals. They are a truly amazing nation when they want something done.

The numbers reported in china certainly seem suspicious as does the spread in the country.

The fact that they can take complete control probably to the extent of execution of people to deter any outbreak. Welding doors shut of peoples houses and apartment blocks. I think it is that type of action that actually gives other confidence in other areas like the stockmarket. The Gov probably also buys a huge amount of shares in these times to prevent any loss in value it would need to be looked at more closely like how many shares were traded.

I am not a commie or China supporter but I have been there many times on business, visited Electrical institutions like Shanghai Electric and Beijing Electric in all cases I mainly worked with very smart young people just out of Uni they were not your old commie indoctrinated types quite the opposite very world savvy and very curious. For lunches and dinners I dined with the bosses of either private companies so entrepreneurs and one occasion the State officials a different type all together very easy to tell the difference.

What i was thinking.

This whole thing has been an Mi5 scheme to kill Tim from the Goodies.

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That was sad. The Goodies was a must see show for me when I was a kid loved it.

Yeah same here mate

NNNNOOOOOOO not the Goodies

Loved The Goodies, such a shame. bloody Mi5.

David ike was right all along

I think it was time to change all the batteries in the pigeons so they wanted everyone inside so they could do it quietly

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Well my theory is all the countries in the world are in on this virus because mostly it eliminates the old, sick, week, obese and unfit . the countries have always been trying to rid themselves of the costs of keeping these types of people ie pension ,medical expenses, housing and whatever other expenses that go with old age, it would save them millions and this excess money saved would be a help towards paying pollies travel expenses and a healthy pay rise for them. Yep I reckon they’re heading toward a throw away people but if it fails at least it’ll scare old people to stay healthy and others not to be obese, not sick and stay fit, a win -win situation for the governments of the worlds and the pollies still get their pay rise and maybe a rise in travel allowance as well.

Makes sense, spend a few hundred billion and cripple the economy to save a few million bucks. Lol. :rofl:

Yep real sensible and to cover their tracks the govs blame a poor old china man down on his luck who had to eat a bat , shame on them shams, shame, shame it would never have happen on Aunty Pauline’s watch :rofl: I think i’ll vote for her next election :upside_down_face:

Followed by, BANANA MAN! I think Tim-Brooke Taylor was a voice actor in it along with the other two, but I can’t remember who.