Three, four, you’re on the floor.
Five, six, it’s just for kicks.
Seven, eight, let’s not get straight.
Nine, ten, let’s do it again.
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I’d play daddy for a beer
But I’d play mummy for a trip 
We’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over the price.
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Is aggressive salmon also a sex position??
Asking for a friend 
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Yes and usually followed up by the playful platypus.
Thought I would relate a funny story that happened to me today.
Whenever I get home from work I nearly always need a number 2 within 10 minutes of arriving.
I get home and the usual gurgle begins so off I go to the throne room.
Do my thing, stand up, turn to flush and HOLY FARK!, toilet is bright red and pink with blood.
I immediately begin mildly freaking out, thinking, hey, I did have a mild discomfort before this incident.
I then have a thought
“Sweetheart” I called the missus “ did you put any tissues in this toilet?”
The response “ yeah babe, one of the kids had a bloody nose”
I nearly went number 2 again in relief
Edit: If you are 40+ , look after yourselves and get checked regularly.
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Bright red blood is usually not too serious, haemorrhoids or whatnot. It’s the darker, older blood that’s a worry. That said, definitely get checked out if you’re unsure.
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Ah, so not piles, it’s the"whatnot" then 
Next time just remember to take your watch off.
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And don’t try one-handed clapping.
If you can’t fit both in there you’re just having a go.
Isn’t that called a kitkat 
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I was putting some stuff away this morning and came across these, a couple of old photos of my Pop when he was stationed in Darwin with the Air Force back when my mum was a toddler so probably around 1945ish. Still got the the croc skins and a couple of much smaller skins (like baby ones) still with their heads & teeth in tact down at mums.
The note on the back says it was an afternoon at the “Australian Croc Shooters Club”. Much more fun than the clay & target clubs we have these days lol.
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Is that a .351 Winchester self-loader? Cool rifle, one was used in “apprehending” Bonnie and Clyde.
I have absolutely no idea, i’m bloody clueless when it comes to most of the older stuff. It wasn’t in the crate of Pa’s guns i inherited, but i suppose there was another 45-50 years between when that happened and the photo lol.
I think you are right on the money. It looks like a Winchester model 1907 to me you can just see the plunger type of cocking handle under the barrel, i could be totally wrong though. Not sure if that was the gun used in the Bonnie and Clyde arrest. Something tells me that was a Remington.
They used a bunch of guns in the final moments of Bonnie and Clyde. Each of the men in the posse had rifles, shotguns and pistols. The actual first shot was a premature one fired by a deputy sheriff at Clyde, that is believed to have been a fatal shot to his head and was indeed fired from a Remington Model 8 in .35 Rem. Frank Hamer, the Texas Ranger in charge, also used the same type of rifle, Deputy Alcorn had a 1907 Winchester in .351 Win. In all the 5 lawmen fired 167 rounds into the pair in the car.
There is a great display in the Texas Rangers Hall of Fame in Waco, Texas. It’s pretty gruesome with original photographs and a few of the actual guns used on display.
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I love it in the movie “Highwaymen” when Frank Hamer goes into the gun shop, looks at a bunch of cool guns then says “ill take all of them!”…
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Sounds like goal setting for half this forum! 
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