The Dark Angel is Upon Us

Gather round laddy’s, a shopkeepers tale awaits thee with an open ear and a welcomin’ hart!
You see…the time is upon us again an ye must make reparations!
I mean preparations!

Yarrr bad thymes a’brewin! I feels it me bones. I knows it in me 'art!

Soon lads.


Ye be howlin’ at a moon, sat down on a can wit only ya bare 'ands to wipe yer ass! TAKE HEED I SAY!

Prepare now whilst ye has a chance. Make haste while ye can and round up all the bum tickets on the shelf whilst they lay sleeping unaccosted by orcish hands from the west and the norh west…suburbs.

For soon…

Sooooon laddies, ye will not have the pleasure of a dry ass an’ a clean 'and!
For ye nevver took heed of the dark shopkeepers sayins!. For when the dark shoppkeepper says…ye best acts or ye get dealt a dark hand.

Consider yeselves warund!

bugle drop


@JizzFlinger been drinking again.


Maybe…maybe I sees what ye cannot through the wonder of the dark ales.

slaps you


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Is that your credit card in the top right corner? behind the screen?

Ya made me look ya scallywag, but tis you who’ll be lookin to the skies when ye has an itchy hole and no papier! HA HARRRR

mission accomplished

"Let me sing ye a song of asses 'n fyre,
For so much of a wipe is the paper desired!
Yet ye laughed an ye rolled and ye scoffed at the 'keeper
But your ass is alive and your hand the Grim reaper!

Oh I say can you tell me that you listened closley?
But I see that the smear on ye hand is unholy!
For ye laugh an’ ye jest and make fun of the story
But in turn all will laugh as your small hole as gorey!

Oh I sing you a song of asses and fyre…

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Is that the only inconvenience you think we will incur? What is at the heart of this terrible tragedy?


You need help! But not too soon, nor too effective, or we’ll loose our best entertainment!



Someone bought more tp than usual from him lol

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Cleaning your bum with TP is really low on the priority list when confronted with the end of the world. :grinning:

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True, there will always be plenty of zombies hanging about to wipe your ass on. I think Mr Jizz is just worried about what his ass is going to do today after drinking that black shite. He might need to break out the Gernie me thinks.

Look Im just saying, there’s another variant of the virus that does nothing to no-one, basically and the governments and corporations are gonna abuse us and make a huge profit in the process once again and I can bet you that we as a nation will go through the TP crisis again because we’re retarded.


“Let me sing ye a song of asses n fyre!”


It’ll be an excuse to implement lock-downs so they can authorise mail in votes for the referendum and it will be 25 million yes votes vs 2000 No’s…


Nah its just money power and control. Short travel & hospitalitiy stocks, pump medical
stocks. Its cool when you can control what the world will spend money on and will stop spending moeny on ahead of time. Cockroaches, all of them.

Another clue that reality is a simulation.


Yarrrrrrrr!!! The ass demon cometh!